How to Draw Boundaries if You're an Introvert

Okay let's jump to the point. You're a too nice person and people try to use you, and you can't say no. You try to say but can't, you rehearse and promise yourself everytime that next time you'll say no but then again they ask your favor or invade your privacy and take decisions on your behalf and you let it go.

Now is the time to take the matter into your hands.

The problem is not that you're naive, the bigger problem is that you avoid conflict. You want to keep everyone happy, you don't want to make waves in the calm water. But the thing is, it's only you who is trying to keep the waters calm, the others are not acknowledging it and stepping over you.

It's a mix of many things. Your body language, your breathing, posture, how you dress, how you present yourself, how tough you seem to negotiate with, how much agreeable you are, how many times do you nod your head and be the best empath in the world by listening to others' problems.

IT'S NOT ONLY ABOUT SAYING NO

There are more factors involved. First you must learn that, what makes others think that you are naive, or you can be asked and you'll not say no. It will take time, take baby steps. Study your body language when you're in a conversation, are you relaxed? are you leaning in or leaning away from the person? do you dress in non-vibrant colors and do you have a kind heart and an honest speaking mouth? 

Try changing your appearance and behavior one at a time, just like a scientist experiments in his lab, changing variables one at a time and studying the results. See what comes up.

Understand: People are not your enemies, they have their own lives and struggles. But they see something in you that they don't have. Be it love, kindness, big heart, skills, empathy etc. And some of these people don't hesitate asking for too much, they're just like that. And there are others who think you're genuinely happy to help them everytime or have a lot of free time because you say yes evertime without any hesitation. You must make them notice that you too have a life and your time is precious. Tell them about something challenging you've been doing lately. Ask them for something in return of your favor. Make them learn the value or price of your service.

DON'T TURN INTO AN A##HOLE

That would be the biggest mistake. The point of life is to work hard, have fun and be happy with others. Just no need to turn to a raging monster. Keep your cool, understand that we all are narcissistic in some way, we all have our needs and some of us don't know where to stop. So when you encounter some toxic people, just remind yourself to chill and take it easy.